Sunday, August 5, 2012
a weekend and some thoughts.
Justin and I had a truly wonderful weekend together. He started working the European shift a couple of weeks ago, which has made our time together during the week very limited, which has made the weekends extra precious to me. We finally made it to Cubby's (seriously good you guys. We honestly nearly cried when the blue cheese fries were gone), went to see Fiddler on the Roof at Scera outdoor theater (also very well done), slept in until 10, did prenatal yoga (sadly I'm still more flexible than Justin even at 39 weeks:), rearranged the living room, did some grocery/project shopping, and went to a pre-screening of the new Nitro Circus movie my work put on.
The best part of the whole weekend was just being together, laughing together, and experiencing things together. I know I gush a lot on the blog about Justin, and how great he is, but it really is because he is entirely gush-able. He definitely has his faults, and we definitely have A LOT to work on as a couple, but anyone who knows him will tell you what a thoughtful, fun, and just outright agreeable person he is. He is one of those people you just want around because he just adds so much, without demanding anything in return.
I've been pretty darn lucky to have him to myself these last 5 years.
That is what I kept thinking the whole weekend as we watched shows and walked down the esiles of Target together. 'This could be the last weekend we spent together, just the two of us as a young couple'. And as excited and blessed as I feel to have this baby on the way, I can't help but be a little sad and scared to put these days behind me. I know there will be new adventures that will be more fulfilling and enriching than anything I have experienced, and I know all of the wonderful things people say about have children....
I'm just saying. This man is my best friend. He takes care of me and loves me, and lets me be selfish. And I am selfish. I'm an inherently selfish person, and I worry about how our relationship will change with the coming of a little one. I worry that we won't be as close, that I won't be part of the "boy's club" or that I'll loose something of my best friend. The true crux of the matter.
Maybe I'm strange to worry. I know some might think me silly or selfish or both to worry. But they probably don't have a best friend as wonderful as mine.
And in the end, I think that is what will make the difference, and make whatever challenges or new adventures we face not only doable, but the best things in my life.